This tweet puts it rather aptly
Well, you’ve been warned. However, if you still want to wade into the shark-infested waters of dating in Lagos so that you can find husband or wife, these tips are for you:
Have plenty money.
Note how I didn’t start with ‘fall in love’, or ‘find a god fearing partner?’ that’s because, without money in this lagos, all of that is null and void.
Lie your ass off.
The other person is probably doing the same thing, believe me. Or don’t, I could be lying too.
Don’t fall in love.
If you think dating in Lagos is about finding love, then you are not ready. Go back inside your house before you get eaten alive. Everybody is out here trying to play games, so you better wear your sportswear.
Find someone whose craze matches your craze.
In this Lagos, everybody is mad. Find someone who is on the same madness wavelength as you, and flourish.
Find someone who is not stingy.
Please, life in this Lagos is already too hard for you to be dating an ‘aka gum’ kind of person. This doesn’t mean the person shouldn’t be frugal, but at least you should have fun once in a while. And don’t get it twisted, fun in Lagos requires money.
Don’t date a leech.
At the other end of the spectrum is the person who thinks a relationship counts as a job. Please get a job or ask your parents for money, Don’t come and turn somebody’s child into ATM in the name of relationship.
Learn the art of packaging.
Nobody wants to date somebody that they cannot go out in public with. Please learn how to look neat and presentable so that your girlfriend won’t introduce you as her driver.
Once you have followed all the above rules, you are on the right track to dating in Lagos. We cannot now say how productive or functional that relationship will be, but have fun!
Share your tips for dating in Lagos with us in the comments.
*featured image from pulse.ng