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Being a Danfo Driver in Lagos: 10 Golden Rules

  1. Your voice must be heard by all and sundry whether it is an argument with other road users or street urchins as well as calling for or swearing at passengers.
  2. You are the king of the road and your driving skills can rival that of the Fast and Furious cast especially back breaking manoeuvres.
  3. You must have a quick temper and a caustic tongue ready with cringe worthy abuse to me doled most mercilessly.
  4.  The rules of the road are beneath your esteemed self. Violate traffic lights as you deem fit, pay no mind to the proper driving etiquette, speed bumps and pot holes have nothing on you and when you can, feel free to drive partly on sidewalks.
  5. Empathy and sympathy do not exist in your vocabulary so when a passenger underpays or has the unfortunate misfortune of paying with N1000, you are in your rights to bellow and threaten and spew venom. How dare they?
  6. You must be able to spot and evade road law officers.
  7. You must maintain or increase your speed at the sight of pedestrians attempting to cross the road. Death to the pedestrians.
  8. The only time you may employ humility and a soft tone is when you seek change from your passengers. This should be after you have established yourself as stated in #1 and #5.
  9. When you are called out for flouting road rules or driving like a Nitro Crash character, do not hesitate to dish out insults and question the sanity of your passengers. You are the head of the bus.
  10. Always step down at the end of the day with available liqueur. This is however optional.

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